Everything I Ever Lost

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Every word, start to finish. The pictures come next — painted around your child, from one photo.

1. For Maeve, who went back for the right thing.

   For Ezra, who went back for the right thing.

   For Sana, who went back for the right thing.

   Dedication

2. It was not under the bed. It was not behind the dresser, or in the coat pockets, or anywhere a thing can reasonably be. Maeve had looked eleven times in the same four places. It was, officially, lost.

   It was not under the bed. It was not behind the dresser, or in the coat pockets, or anywhere a thing can reasonably be. Ezra had looked eleven times in the same four places. It was, officially, lost.

   It was not under the bed. It was not behind the dresser, or in the coat pockets, or anywhere a thing can reasonably be. Sana had looked eleven times in the same four places. It was, officially, lost.

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3. Which is how Maeve found the door under the stairs. It had never been there before, and it was slightly open, and behind it, where the vacuum cleaner should have been, stood a warehouse the size of a county.

   Which is how Ezra found the door under the stairs. It had never been there before, and it was slightly open, and behind it, where the vacuum cleaner should have been, stood a warehouse the size of a county.

   Which is how Sana found the door under the stairs. It had never been there before, and it was slightly open, and behind it, where the vacuum cleaner should have been, stood a warehouse the size of a county.

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4. Aisle one was socks. Nine million of them, all singles, all catalogued, each one still faintly warm from the dryer it vanished from. The aisle went on past the edge of sight.

   Aisle one was socks. Nine million of them, all singles, all catalogued, each one still faintly warm from the dryer it vanished from. The aisle went on past the edge of sight.

   Aisle one was socks. Nine million of them, all singles, all catalogued, each one still faintly warm from the dryer it vanished from. The aisle went on past the edge of sight.

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5. Maeve checked the ledger, which was taller than she was. Umbrellas had a wing to themselves. Reading glasses filled a floor. The ledger had a ledger. Neither of them mentioned her thing.

   Ezra checked the ledger, which was taller than he was. Umbrellas had a wing to themselves. Reading glasses filled a floor. The ledger had a ledger. Neither of them mentioned his thing.

   Sana checked the ledger, which was taller than she was. Umbrellas had a wing to themselves. Reading glasses filled a floor. The ledger had a ledger. Neither of them mentioned her thing.

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6. So Maeve searched by hand instead. Keys. Gloves. Marbles. Glasses. A whole shelf of left mittens, missing their rights. She climbed the rolling ladder higher and looked harder.

   So Ezra searched by hand instead. Keys. Gloves. Marbles. Glasses. A whole shelf of left mittens, missing their rights. He climbed the rolling ladder higher and looked harder.

   So Sana searched by hand instead. Keys. Gloves. Marbles. Glasses. A whole shelf of left mittens, missing their rights. She climbed the rolling ladder higher and looked harder.

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7. Higher was worse. The ladder swayed, the shelf tipped, and a hundred small lost things rained down into the dark to become lost somewhere new. The warehouse did not mind at all. Losing things twice was practically its hobby.

   Higher was worse. The ladder swayed, the shelf tipped, and a hundred small lost things rained down into the dark to become lost somewhere new. The warehouse did not mind at all. Losing things twice was practically its hobby.

   Higher was worse. The ladder swayed, the shelf tipped, and a hundred small lost things rained down into the dark to become lost somewhere new. The warehouse did not mind at all. Losing things twice was practically its hobby.

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8. The last aisle was the quiet one. Its shelves held nothing you could hold: things people meant to say, kept warm and waiting. Things they never got around to. The light there did not come from anywhere.

   The last aisle was the quiet one. Its shelves held nothing you could hold: things people meant to say, kept warm and waiting. Things they never got around to. The light there did not come from anywhere.

   The last aisle was the quiet one. Its shelves held nothing you could hold: things people meant to say, kept warm and waiting. Things they never got around to. The light there did not come from anywhere.

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9. Maeve sat down on the floor between the shelves, with the lantern, and thought about the afternoon. The toy could be replaced. It could have been replaced in a store. She had been searching for the wrong thing since lunch.

   Ezra sat down on the floor between the shelves, with the lantern, and thought about the afternoon. The toy could be replaced. It could have been replaced in a store. He had been searching for the wrong thing since lunch.

   Sana sat down on the floor between the shelves, with the lantern, and thought about the afternoon. The toy could be replaced. It could have been replaced in a store. She had been searching for the wrong thing since lunch.

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10. Maeve went back to the quiet aisle and did not take the toy. She reached up, carefully, with both hands, and took down the thing she had never gotten around to saying.

    Ezra went back to the quiet aisle and did not take the toy. He reached up, carefully, with both hands, and took down the thing he had never gotten around to saying.

    Sana went back to the quiet aisle and did not take the toy. She reached up, carefully, with both hands, and took down the thing she had never gotten around to saying.

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11. Maeve carried it out past the marbles, past the umbrellas, past all nine million socks. It weighed nothing and was difficult to hold, like a breath you are saving.

    Ezra carried it out past the marbles, past the umbrellas, past all nine million socks. It weighed nothing and was difficult to hold, like a breath you are saving.

    Sana carried it out past the marbles, past the umbrellas, past all nine million socks. It weighed nothing and was difficult to hold, like a breath you are saving.

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12. There is a gap on that shelf now, the first in years. The warehouse wrote it down in the ledger: one unsaid thing, reclaimed. It writes everything down. It underlined this one.

    There is a gap on that shelf now, the first in years. The warehouse wrote it down in the ledger: one unsaid thing, reclaimed. It writes everything down. It underlined this one.

    There is a gap on that shelf now, the first in years. The warehouse wrote it down in the ledger: one unsaid thing, reclaimed. It writes everything down. It underlined this one.

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13. Maeve came home and said it, standing up, in the kitchen, out loud. It took four seconds. The door under the stairs was gone by morning, its work done.

    Ezra came home and said it, standing up, in the kitchen, out loud. It took four seconds. The door under the stairs was gone by morning, its work done.

    Sana came home and said it, standing up, in the kitchen, out loud. It took four seconds. The door under the stairs was gone by morning, its work done.

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